06

I don't know. Should I? I just feel like you don't even care anymore. I know it's hard. I'm tired too. But if I were to really ask myself who is the one who put more of their heart and soul into this relationship, it's not even a close fight. Am I wrong? Am I trying to convince myself that there's no one else in this? I just feel like my heart died on 14.02.2013. And somehow it got revived along the way, with a tiny speck of life. And then, bit by bit, it wore off. I don't feel like I wasted my time. You made me a better person. There's no doubt about that. I just feel like I don't deserve to be crying my eyes out every other week. To a certain extent, I would rather quarrel my lungs out with you face-to-face or over the phone like in the past. Rather then this cold war that hurts like a blade through my heart. And looking around, there's only a hand few of people that I can talk to. For people that can really help, much lesser. What's a relationship without that heart pumping feeling? What's a relationship without commitments and quality time together? Sometimes I really wonder if I ever got to forgiving you. And if I hadn't, why am I at this step of life right now? When time matters so much and I can't even get to doing the stuff I need to, much less those that I want to. This time of the night, I wish that there's someone who would just hold my hand and tell me that everything is going to be alright. 11 August 2013. I'd be waiting.