29

Year 2015. I guess everyone celebrates their twenty-first like it's a big deal and all, but this birthday would mean so much more to me than the last. I'm proud to say that I've grown so much over the course of this year. I've learnt so much, from all the conflicts that happened, the tragic events that I'm forced to face and the warmth I can always hide in when the world gets too much for me to handle. I've always said "I can do it" but ultimately, I learnt that sometimes, it's okay to admit otherwise. Thinking back, I remember how we'd stay strong and force back our tears so she knows that in times of weakness, she can always count on us. Even though, it eventually ended up with the three of us in tears. I'd never want to go back to that and I wish time could just stop here, right now.

It's been ages since I finally got around to really packing and clearing up unwanted things in my life. Seeing all those little gifts, notes and letters helped enlighten me about how easy it is to say "I'd always be here" or "if you ever need me". I'm not saying I need you, or you, or you.. cause I don't. I have never hesitated before cutting people off from my life or dumping useless things that were only gathering dust.
A full bag of rubbish with every hour I spend clearing junk.

Some things change, some things don't. I will try to care less.

I hate your salted egg sotong la :x

28

That was so cute. I miss you and I can't wait for the weekends.

27

I hope you know that we are all here for you. Right now's not the right time. To be honest, I wonder if you'll ever grief the way I've seen anyone did. Seven years is a long time, but you know she's right when she said "you don't love her enough". It doesn't matter now, just put the past behind you, concentrate on the present and the future will naturally come.
I'm still torn between wanting to help you and being alone.

These two months have flown by. Mixed feelings as I approach my last semester and it almost feels like I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I still don't know what I want, that's almost as terrifying as not knowing what I don't want either. It's hard being confused and stressed when it's so natural just living life by passing each day. And then again, it's nice to have small milestones to focus on for the past twenty-two years.
Urgent but unimportant things.
I'll never forget your words, but at least I'm old enough to interpret them in my own way, and to see for myself how you have neglect those non-urgent yet super important things.

I can't wait for the new change, just 6 more days. At least, it's something else to look forward to. Maybe the nicest holiday I've ever had. No homework, no deadlines, no commitments and just doing whatever my heart feels like.

Two more months.

There's slowly a bridge forming and I want to tell you that it's not because of him. You're right when you say you hate it when you find out your friends lie to you. But she's right when she said I choose my friends wisely. It's hard to stay angry at you but it doesn't change the fact that I no longer enjoy spending time with you. And today is the last day of classes.