21

Cause this is the only place you can't reach.

I tried and I'm still trying. Cause you mean so much to me as a friend and I'm just not willing to give up on someone like you. We've gone through so much shit together for the past 2+ years that I'm willing to wait for you to get better.

I just need you to get your shit together so that we can finally go back to the way we were before once again... What is production without your friendship?

20

I don't know how I am feeling. May time heal me from the inside.

On a side note, remember not to judge anyone. Crime shows teach me so much.

“Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well- warmed, and well-fed.” ― Herman Melville

I will do this, even if it means doing it myself. I'm more than this. I'm Superman.

19

突然好想你 - Mayday

最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆 突然翻滚绞痛著
不平息
最怕突然 听到你的消息
想念如果会有声音
不愿那是悲伤的哭泣
事到如今
终于让自己属于 我自己
只剩眼泪 还骗不过自己
突然好想你

你会在哪里
过得快乐或委屈
突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛
我们像一首最美丽的歌曲
变成两部悲伤的电影
为什么你
带我走过最难忘的旅行
然后留下 最痛的纪念品
我们 那么甜那么美那么相信
那么疯那么热烈的曾经
为何我们还是要奔向各自的幸福和遗憾中老去
突然好想你

I miss you. & I wonder if you still read this.
Cause I'm still waiting.

18

I need to write this one post so I don't vent it out on people that do not deserve it. I guess ultimately, it's not up to us to question your priorities and to be there to tell you what to do or even to not be a hypocrite. It's fine. We know we are not your top priority, in fact we are far from that. We don't need you. You don't know how replaceable you are. That's fine. May. 9 May will the final day that we need you. After that, we're moving on..

Disappointments come from a mismatch of expectations and reality. And I guess all I can say is, you have no ability to plan. Not just you, the whole scene of you. It just makes me sure that I never want to put dance as my priority. I never want to fall into the trap of prioritising my personal growth and commitments over my passions and impulsive actions. That's you, not me.

FM has come a long way. With you or without you, we will progress and grow. Maybe someday you'll see your flaws and your irresponsible actions. But till then, we'll do just fine without you. In fact, we'll do better without you.

17

I don't know how to feel. Happy that you still love me like how I think I still love you or sad that I wasn't able to change your mindset. I know that in a relationship, you should never be trying to change someone. I was so clueless to how you were feeling, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for pressurising you so badly. I'm sorry I couldn't change the way you feel about marriage. What you said last night just left me so confused about what I should do and how I should feel. All I can say is, I'll take nature take its course and leave everything to fate.

At least, now I know why.
I'm sorry.

16

I just cannot bring myself to say that this is the last post about you, cause I know that someday I might not be able to resist the urge to need to say something. Tomorrow marks 2 months. 2 months since that night. And well, I'm still looking back and wondering if things will still be this way if you could just put down your pride that very moment. Whether I wish you done something that night, I don't know. But I dare say that if you did, things wouldn't be this way. Everything you do right now shows me how much you're regretting it, regretting how you treated me the past few months and regretting how you let your mind get a hold of yourself rather than your heart. I know I loved you, I know you still love me. Even so, I can't let myself be yours if you're going to stay the same. It's just too painful.
I want this 2 weeks to be a wake up call.

I want this 2 weeks to be a wake up call. Maybe it's not just a damn crush. I'm putting too much into this for it to be healing me well. Let this 2 weeks be a wake up call. For you and for me. If I'm not good enough, it's not me it's you. Never believed in those words "I'm not good enough" and not planning to, not for you not for anyone.

What is meant to be will be. Don't let anyone change you into something you're not and don't let yourself become someone you hate. Don't settle for anything less than you deserve cause you will very well end up with even less. You're worth so much more, don't ever stop believing in those 5 words.

Say something I'm giving up on you.

Life is not a bed of roses but if you close your eyes and try to imagine, who knows?
Keep going and don't let yourself fall. You were once happy alone, there's no reason you can't be again.

There's still him to pick you up when you're down, don't lose hope.

15

I can do this. Just a month left. (: Take a big breathe and go! :D

I know it's not you I miss.
I just miss the company.
And the memories.

Well for every pleasant memory I can garner, I am pretty sure I can remember one that leaves me feeling lousy about myself. And that's okay. Cause every relationship has its ups and downs. It always boils down to effort, commitment and passion. The main three things lacking in ours. To be honest, I haven't had the time to reflect about our relationship because I don't have the courage to. It doesn't matter how I feel about you now for I have utmost confidence in being able to push away any reminiscent feelings I have for you, if any. I just don't want to think about your actions, your effort (or rather, lack of) and your feelings because I don't ever want to start hating you. You're right, probably a 100% even, that we'll be able to be close friends because of the fact that we can get along pretty well and that we know each other so well, sometimes even further than the extent of knowing ourselves. But the very fact that you're right shows how wrong we were. How wrong we were for two and a half years. I just realised, a few seconds ago, that we broke up right the very day before we could celebrate our two years and seven months anniversary. That means it was a very accurate two and a half years. Well, I just couldn't bear the thought of having to spend another painful anniversary. I'm not blaming you because it's my fault. It's my fault for hoping and setting my expectations high. I want the best for myself, the best that I can get. Now I know, that it's about your own efforts. I will continue looking and fighting. Just because I gave up on you doesn't mean I gave up on love.

I'm still waiting patiently for my Mr. Right.
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